“I don’t know what these kids are worried about nowadays. I really don’t. Come see us when you hit your first million, hey? I know, I know. I can hear you saying it. Nasty, nasty. I shouldn’t be so nasty. Hard not to be. Took you. There. That’s better. (sighs) I’m exhausted. I’ll sit down here with you for a spell. I owe you that after yesterday. Sorry. I am more and more unnerved at the sight of this vacant lot next to you. When the penny finally drops and you realise there are less days ahead of you than behind. Well, it is. It’s unnerving. You wangled your way out of that one, didn’t you? I’m glad you can’t see me now. I really am. That blonde Adonis I once was has scrunched up something alright. I look like a bloody sock puppet. How young we were. How young, how gorgeous. I had to put that photo away.”

Shitface Girl

MAN: She’s been sick and she’s got shi- … dog-do on her face and you’re filming it first?
WOMAN: Because someone needs to be held accountable!
MAN: Not to the detriment of -.
WOMAN: Are you a parent? Would you like this to happen to your child!? I’m here, baby girl, one more second. You’re doing really well.

The Spoonbill

CAM: So is he coming here? I want to meet him!
INCARNATION #1: You may never, now.
RO: It can’t be that bad?
LAURA: He’s just overdramatising. It’s what they all do.
INCARNATION #1: Us gays?
LAURA: No, you artists.
INCARNATION #1: Well, this artist is fucking exhausted. Already. It’s not even… 5pm on a Sunday. I’m tipsy, tired and… Tragic. I thought daytime drinking was meant to be a lot more fun and easygoing than this.


MICHAEL: Now. I nominated myself to go first because it’s the plaster-off-quick syndrome. I couldn’t bear the thought of waiting while other people show me up for being a charlatan. Wow them first. It’s like what my Dad always told me: get the first round in of an evening. You’ll be remembered for being generous and you won’t have to buy a drink for the rest of the night. I don’t know how that metaphor applies, but…